12: Broken Cups

To me this cup is already broken. Because I know its fate, I can enjoy it fully here and now. And when it’s gone, it’s gone.

Ajahn Chah

Of the many things I have come to recognize over the last three years, relationships don’t exist except in the stories we tell ourselves about the relationship. When the mythology of the story is broken, like Chah’s cup, it’s gone.

The Thing always breaks where the bonds are weakest, not strongest.

Only when the Thing we value is lost to its faults, do we recognize why it broke. Kintsugi and counseling have the same goal: mend the breaks to reveal a more authentic story.

Often times the story of intimacy can be amended, sometimes it cannot be.

This has been a very difficult and painful lesson.