128.02: More thoughts on Interlopers and Rumormongers


My Doc and I have been talking about C’s Flying Monkeys and her Vara and how to address the legal and criminal consequences for them.

The primary conversation has revolved around avoidance: am I avoiding confronting these people out of my avoidance issues or am I ignoring these things because it isn’t worth the time, money, and energy?

Essentially, she is asking me if I am going along to get along?

When the Doc first asked me why I didn’t move forward with the lawyer and the lawsuit, I said, “I am trying to avoid drama for me and for C.”

I think she actually rolled her eyes and then, to paraphrase my Doc:

Based on the book I left for C, she asked Esther Perel this question. I wonder if Esther answered.

First, there is no ‘you and C’. You’re betrayal et al burned it up. Then she systematically dismantled it.

Based on her actions, if you were still together her anger and rage would be relentless. She is owed and entitled to nothing. She wants nothing unless it can hurt or harm you.

Also, these Flying Monkeys sought you out. You never contacted them directly. They sought out your writing. They sought out your friends. The sought out your clients. They sought out strangers you see once per year at art shows. They sought out strangers on the internet.

They called people, they wrote people, and they pulled people aside and accused you of doing things you’ve never done. They openly tell people you have a dangerous mental and emotional problem. They tell people you are a predator. They tell people you are stalking and harassing C and she is a victim of a #MeToo predator.

They openly publish across social media derogatory, misleading, and intentionally threatening things about you. They have actively sought to hurt you personally, professionally, and financially.

By every definition, these are bullies and stalkers openly and enthusiastically harassing you across all quarters of your life. Even when you were five states away they wrote of you, at you and to you.

They did his based on what C has told them. Either that or they used her pain to split her from you, or she split you from them. They leveraged a Triangle. They did this despite none of them talking with you since the day K called C and no professional experience. They have done this maliciously and with ill-intent beyond the excuse of simply helping C. C said nothing. She allowed it. Regardless, unless C wants something different it is over.

Now, if they were doing this to C what would you do?

Me: Mumble. Mumble. Mumble…rain down fire and brimstone on the fuckers.

So, you would defend C’s life, reputation, and honor but you won’t defend your own? Why do you value her more than you value yourself?

Well, when the Doc puts it like that?

At the end of the day, upon reflection on my Doc’s subtle directness over four hours of counseling, the question becomes, “Do I love myself enough to defend my own life (and what does that look like) or do I let others define this chapter?”

Click here to read Part One and click here to an intro to the topic.