83: Thoughts on A Short Guide on How To Cope With An Unfaithful Lover

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.

Hal Borland
Countryman: A Summary of Belief

I thought this was an excellent read with many sound perspectives. Perspectives that grow in importance over time.

A few things I would add that apply to both the betrayed and the betrayer:

  • Hiding behind lies and secret-keeping will warp your perception of self. Rely on experienced, well-meaning, and knowledgeable people to help you see your blind spots.
  • Be patience. Be persistent.
  • If the relationship is important, keep it simple and give it time.
  • Know hurt people hurt people. Betrayal or not, you will hurt people you are closest too. Don’t make it personal.
  • People will want to insert themselves into the story. Ignore them as much as possible. The only feelings and thoughts that matter are yours and your Partners – and a trained professional. Everyone else is an interloper. Don’t allow trolls to define your relationship, intentions, or choices.
  • Time does not heal all wounds. What you do with the time will. Determine to heal and grow with intention. Intention gives time meaning and purpose.
  • More vulnerability, not less, is the path to a healed heart.
  • You owe your Partner honesty. Honesty about your actions. Honesty about your pain.
  • Love them and stay. Love them and leave. There are a 1,000 possible choices in-between. Every situation is different. But most importantly love yourself.
  • A betrayal results from a failure to be vulnerable. Betrayal doesn’t make you a failure. Failure leads to greater success.
  • You matter. What you need and want matters. You are important. Do not take responsibility for your partner’s choices.


A Short Guide on How To Cope With An Unfaithful Lover

You have just discovered that your partner has cheated on you.  You are devastated by this news.  Your marriage is now in a state of crisis and it might be destroyed. However, it is still possible that you might be able to work through things and end up stronger and better than ever…

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