47: Broken Knights and other fishy tales

“You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” – Harvey Dent

It’s ironic when I was lying and secret-keeping my infidelity was slowly killing me and when the truth came out it destroyed my life. Now that I’ve embraced being secret free and open people want me to shut up and keep secrets.

46: This is the power of shame

The criminalization of infidelity encourages more secret keeping. Criminalization behavior won’t stop infidelities from happening but it does reinforce shame forcing more hiding, trickle truth, and secret keeping.

42: Reset

Since this began I’ve made two commitments to myself. First of all, no more secrets. Secondly, I’d respect C’s personal space. This past weekend I broke the latter commitment and as a result created a secret.

40: Reflections at 100 Days

I’ve learned a lot about how people respond to betrayal and secret keeping.

Here is the bottom line: Love and stay. Love and leave. There is no wrong answer.

Regardless, love yourself.

35.1: No More Mixed Messages: I Love You, Go Away (Part I)

On a shallow level, I believe C is ending the relationship because of my infidelity and secrets. However, at my core? At my core, I believe C is ending the relationship because I am not worthy of being loved.

That is an emotionally messed up way of interacting with the people that love you.

28: 70 Days, 3 Lessons

Three lessons on infidelity: 1.) I’m not a victim 2.) Secrets Suck 3.) Friendship and Ghost Stories

11: Thoughts on How Can I Ever Trust You Again? by Dr. Randi Gunther

Originally posted on PushUP24:
Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability. The partner who has…

07: No Secrets. No lies.

My selfish infidelity wasn’t simply a breaking of trust, it was the willful assault on the foundation we had built and I had submitted to honoring.

01: Ducks and other quacks

The pain needs perspective, else it becomes a cycle of self-abuse and destruction. Perspective is born from time and distance. With help, time and distance provide pain meaning.

01: Ducks and other quacks

I use to believe some things were best kept private…but it is precisely the act of secret keeping that allowed my betrayal to fester so long. When the lies, secrets, and betrayal detonated on our lives twenty-eight days ago I was both sickened and relieved. The secret had been weighing down my soul and my […]