Love Letters to a Healing Heart
"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for Distortion or Illusion. And this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.” – Mark Nepo
Read More 36: Cleaning out the woundReading post after post about what happens post-discovery almost no one acts well. Everything in this situation is ugly. I made it uglier.
Read More 35.3: No More Mixed Messages: The Benefit of Hindsight (Part III)On a shallow level, I believe C is ending the relationship because of my infidelity and secrets. However, at my core? At my core, I believe C is ending the relationship because I am not worthy of being loved.
That is an emotionally messed up way of interacting with the people that love you.
Read More 35.1: No More Mixed Messages: I Love You, Go Away (Part I)I will not pursue her or anyone else. Pursuing is clearly the mallet of my relationship communication toolbox. Now I know: my pursuing is selfish and fear-based. The behavior only adds to the problem.
Read More 27: Thoughts on the Pursuer-Distancer DynamicI have to work on separating my infidelity from my identity. Separating the act from the actors. Which sounds simple but I’ve been living with this lie for a long time and to a large extent, it has been my identity. Decisions, choices, and actions were constantly influenced by a desire to keep the secret. […]
Read More 26: Hiding in plain siteOriginally posted on Lessons From the End of a Marriage:
Rock Bottom. A place that brings dread. That no one would choose to visit. And yet it is also a place of mysterious power. That allows us to tap into the power within ourselves. Because when you’re at Rock Bottom you have… Nothing to Lose…
When I embrace my pain, instead of treating it like the enemy, it becomes the doorway to wholeness. Which is all I ever wanted.
Read More 16: Well, that’s a painOriginally posted on Lessons From the End of a Marriage:
Being abandoned sucks. The shock alone is enough to stop your heart. And then, once it starts beating again, all you want to to is yell at your so-called partner who thought it was acceptable to simply walk away with no notice and no dialog. It…
Originally posted on Lessons From the End of a Marriage:
Being abandoned sucks. The shock alone is enough to stop your heart. And then, once it starts beating again, all you want to to is yell at your so-called partner who thought it was acceptable to simply walk away with no notice and no dialog. It…
Originally posted on PushUP24:
Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability. The partner who has…
Love Letters to a Healing Heart 
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