54: A Fool’s Tale: Betrayal

Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent. The base Injustice thou hast done my Love: Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress, And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn’d; Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.

53: A Writer Writes

I care until I don’t. I never pretended about my passion or commitment to C before. Right now, as I have always been, I’m still committed to her. Do not presume to tell me I’m doing it wrong.

44: Jealousy

I awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.

I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.

44: Jealousy

I awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.

I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.

41: Projecting Pain

I followed her to learn but you cannot learn from the perpetually righteous and angry.

40: Reflections at 100 Days

I’ve learned a lot about how people respond to betrayal and secret keeping.

Here is the bottom line: Love and stay. Love and leave. There is no wrong answer.

Regardless, love yourself.

39: My Ugly

I’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.

The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.

39: My Ugly

The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.

38: Twitter's Ghost Stories

Today I watched in real time as a ghost story grew. Someone on Twitter shared that, after 16 years, her husband announced to her today he is moving out. She was distraught and reached out online for support and encouragement. She was sent a few kind words and hearts but then the conversation turned on a simple three letter word: why.

37: April 22

I’m going to be in The City of Bridges next week. While in Pittsburgh every bridge will be a reminder of where I am heading next. It will serve as a reminder of where I have been and where I am going. I’m finished pursuing forgiveness, acceptance, or love, regardless of what my broken heart wants.