02: Negotiating the Storm

I used to think that if I were “mature” enough or “good” enough, I could keep the world from burning. I traded marriages, jobs, and my own sense of self just to belong. But C-PTSD doesn’t give you a seat at the table; it just keeps you in a defensive crouch. This post is about my shift toward a new kind of honesty: judging people by what they do, not what they say. Because at the end of the day, impact trumps intention every time.

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60: Why

I’m still not sure I have a real answer why I betrayed C. I’m not sure I will ever be able to provide a personally or socially satisfactory answer to the question.

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12: Dazed and Confused

I cannot do anything about what people think they know. Anything I say will be perceived as justification, rationalizations, or an excuse or worse yet an unhealthy denial. So for the moment I am mostly just trying to wrap my head around the consequences. 

And drink my hot chocolate…

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