67: Sorrow and Grief

The willingness to truly see Painter as who she is means seeing myself as I am in that pattern. And to see this truth is to live with remorse and regret, and experience sorrowful grief.

47: Stuff that Works

Grief, remorse, and regret work on a dimmer switch, not an on-off switch.

21: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Discomfort (Part 1)

When I spend resources trying to avoid the painful moment I am imagining, I will never know how to respond to the actual experience. Everything becomes a story about a fix to a broken fix to another useless hole. These responses to my discomfort only create a new narrative of pain for myself and others. I avoid living in an impermanent moment out of fear.

18: Sex.

There are places I remain frozen in the past.

An outcome of my marriage and the last several relationships is I feel as if I am sexually wrecked. I feel frozen between desire and doubt, analysis and paralysis, ambition and silence

13: More Symbolism

And here I realized is where the story ended. In a little no frill community thrift store outside of Golden, Colorado. A few trinkets added to a hoarder’s paradise.

09: Not Every Day

“Anger gets a vote.” – @TaraBrach

61: Being Incognito: Thoughts on Grief, Loss, and Children

I pretend things didn’t happen that did. I confuse resiliency with the appearance of strength and cover with bravado. I pretend the losses don’t hurt.