"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
113: All that we are not
You cannot be vulnerable and safe. Vulnerability is (risk + uncertainty + emotional openness). By definition, safety is to be free of risk and uncertainty. They just cannot exist in the same spiritual space.
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108: Never Not Broken
The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.
I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.
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106: Hope and Envy
I want to be done caring or remembering or feeling. Yet hope and romanticism continue mocking my desire to let go. They dances through my dreams.
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106: The Mighty
“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
I often wonder what keeps relationships going when, on the surface, it seems like there is so much going against them.
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101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse
There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.
And I had many of both.
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97.1: I Contain Multitudes (1 of 2)
We are all self-made blind to the kaleidoscope of wants, needs, and desires of the people around us. To see them more fully is to see ourselves more truthfully and honestly.
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I’ve made a lot mistakes since discovery day, 126 days ago. I may not be doing it perfectly but I’ve been doing it.
22 days.
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Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent. The base Injustice thou hast done my Love: Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress, And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn’d; Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.
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I care until I don’t. I never pretended about my passion or commitment to C before. Right now, as I have always been, I’m still committed to her. Do not presume to tell me I’m doing it wrong.
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