"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are moments I’m often confused and bored by the stability in my relationship with Chef. I mean, if I’m not responsible for constantly attending to her ego and entitlement while driving connection, what am I suppose to do with all my free time?
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How we got here doesn’t have to define where we go. Living that truth is all that is required to break the patterns.
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Here is the reality, dig down a bit, and beneath all Painter’s cuntishness is pain. I know it isn’t personal, except where I make it so.
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The moment I awoke to the reality that © doesn’t care about me, our life, or our future, I am free. I am free to go dancing. I am free to walk into any place and order a beer. Free to ask a friend that loves me, accepts my Ugly, and hasn’t run, to dance with me.
Read More 153.03: The Pattern (Part 3)
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108: Never Not Broken
The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.
I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.
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106: The Mighty
“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
I often wonder what keeps relationships going when, on the surface, it seems like there is so much going against them.
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103: Three Conversations
Love and leave. Love and stay. There is no wrong answer.
What would you do? Do you have the courage to move through the pride and face the pain?
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101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse
There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.
And I had many of both.
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89: Road Warrior
Many people would run for their own reasons. Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.
That takes courage and honesty.
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This article is without a doubt, the most accurate, and thorough description of my thinking, actions, feelings, and perception of self I have found about the consequences, pain, and anxiety of being tied down by secrets and lies.
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