45: Pursuers and Distancers

There are moments I’m often confused and bored by the stability in my relationship with Chef. I mean, if I’m not responsible for constantly attending to her ego and entitlement while driving connection, what am I suppose to do with all my free time?

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153.03: The Pattern (Part 3)

The moment I awoke to the reality that © doesn’t care about me, our life, or our future, I am free. I am free to go dancing. I am free to walk into any place and order a beer. Free to ask a friend that loves me, accepts my Ugly, and hasn’t run, to dance with me.

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108: Never Not Broken

108: Never Not Broken

The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.

I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.

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106: The Mighty

106: The Mighty

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.” 

I often wonder what keeps relationships going when, on the surface, it seems like there is so much going against them.

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103: Three Conversations

103: Three Conversations

Love and leave. Love and stay. There is no wrong answer.

What would you do? Do you have the courage to move through the pride and face the pain?

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101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)

101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse

There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.

And I had many of both.

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89: Road Warrior

89: Road Warrior

Many people would run for their own reasons.  Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.

That takes courage and honesty.

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65.3: 8 Days: Thoughts on How More Secrets and Lies Destroy Relationships by Darlene Lancer

This article is without a doubt, the most accurate, and thorough description of my thinking, actions, feelings, and perception of self I have found about the consequences, pain, and anxiety of being tied down by secrets and lies.

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