44: Sunflowers

How we got here doesn’t have to define where we go. Living that truth is all that is required to break the patterns.

Audit 01: Ducks and other quacks

Originally posted on Love Letters to a Healing Heart:
I use to believe some things were best kept private…but it is precisely the act of secret keeping that allowed my betrayal to fester so long. When the lies, secrets, and betrayal detonated on our lives twenty-eight days ago I was both sickened and relieved. The…

57: My Favorite Ex-Wife

Let’s talk about my ex-wife.

Thoughts on Pema Chödrön’s Non-Aggression and the 4 Maras

We are what we embrace. If we embrace the problem than we are the problem. If we embrace the solution we are the solution. If I embrace shame do I not become my shame?

Thoughts on Pema Chödrön’s Non-Aggression and the 4 Maras

We are what we embrace. If we embrace the problem than we are the problem. If we embrace the solution we are the solution. If I embrace shame do I not become my shame?

Thoughts on Pema Chödrön’s Curious about Existence

There was a great deal of beautiful qualities in my relationship with my ex…but she is not the flower. She is not the reason it was beautiful. She is not the blossom or the tree. Our life was beautiful and it bloomed because that was the season and we both contributed to the season..

Our life together blossomed because it was our choice. Now it’s time for a different choice.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)

If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.

There are reasons for that right?

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)

Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?

I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)

Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.