31: Drive by Shaming

Every time I hear one person tell another some variation of, “Staying in your partnership and trying to transform the conflict means you’re weak, a chump, abused, suffering from Stockholm syndrome, and your past history was just one big lie,” I think, “Wow! Who’s gaslighting who here?!”

Seriously?! How do you know?

30: Thoughts on Unicorns, Chumps, & Other Mythological Creatures

The narrative that has choked so many meaningful intimate moments in my life is the false narrative, “You deserve to be happy but if there is a conflict that must mean there is something wrong. Not with them, but with you.”

Thoughts on Excuse Making vs Understanding by Lisa Arends

I have, on more than one occasion over the last 15 months found myself voluntarily leaning into pointless discussions with ill-informed people over issues of my identity, my life with my xp, and the decisions I was making before and after the discovery.

29: Saudade – The Deep Longing

I wrote as a plea to be heard. By someone.

Anyone.

By her…but in the quiet of the night, when love and grief can no longer be shouted down I hear the repressed whispers of knowledge reminding me the woman I long to hear from will never return.

28: I am a leaf on the wind

Too often I sense my grieving keeps me focused on things outside my control. However, with time and loving intention, my grieving gives way to a renewed focus on my own patterns, roles, choices, and opportunities.

27: A Quickie

There are just some days, even 15 months later, where I still long to belong to you. I’m deeply, truly sorry I betrayed you, me, and us. I never wanted to be anywhere other than with you. Ever. You were the one. You were always the one.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)

If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.

There are reasons for that right?

26: Thoughts on Triggers

Here is the thing: if I want to be less trigger-happy (triggery? triggered?) I need to deal with my shit. Me. No one else.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)

Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?

I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.

Thoughts on 36: Cleaning Out the Wound by CadConfessional

“Change happens one funeral at a time.” At the time we were talking politics. However, in the years since I heard her say that I’ve come to appreciate this truth.