09: Stories of Anger

Anger reminds me that when someone feels entitled to slam a door (or phone) to end a conversation, I am not obligated to open the door again for them. In this relationship, anger reminds me that surviving and flourishing means their silence and entitlement need not manipulate me.

03: Stories of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

I grew up in a passive-aggressiveness home.

66: Stories of Stories

I say this knowing just as Painter or Beatrice are not responsible for my betrayal, lies, and secrets, I am not responsible for theirs. At the end of the day how each of us reacts or responds to others is about our relationship to our emotional selves. Essentially, the ways in which we rigidly grasp our stories, imaginings, and entitlements define how we react or respond to the world around us. It defines everything from our suffering to our joys.

65: Stories of Scapegoats

I recognize all change is internal growth externalized. If I want a different relationship with others, it is my burden to show up differently and be there for them when they are ready.

62: Stories of Invisible Loyalties

I have allowed invisible loyalties to interfere in my well-being. I have taken life-altering actions on more than one occasion because I allowed invisible loyalties to hijack my decision-making process.

Lessons From a Black Friday: Year Four

Four years and time marches on.

57: Stories of Reconciliation

When I say, “through this grief and loss, I gained far more than I lost,” I recognize what I am saying. I may romanticize and idealize Painter and our relationship, but I also realize how much that relationship cost me and how much I gained now that it is over.

54: Stories of A Facebook Crush

Recently I made a statement on my Twitter thread that I had a FB crush. Like so much of what I write on Twitter, it was intended as a comma on a particular moment. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have said anything?

53: A Frank Story, Et Al

I still love Painter, and despite my best efforts–and hers–probably always will. However, breaking the pattern requires I stop pursuing the distancers in my life. As such, despite her stories I stopped pursuing Painter a long time ago. Today I pursue growth.

52: Stories of Truth

The truth is I had one set of secrets and lies in my relationship with Painter. It was a meaningful lie and secret, full of fucketty and shitheadery, but it was the only one.