36: Cleaning out the wound

“What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for Distortion or Illusion. And this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.” – Mark Nepo

35.2: No More Mixed Messages: Breaking Patterns (Part II)

The meaning and lessons of my infidelity are not black and white. The post-infidelity choices are not black and white. The pain is not black and white. The solutions are not black and white.

34: You Asked, I'll Try to Answer

“We do not see things as they are,” wrote Anaïs Nin, “we see them as we are.” And so it is when contemplating and discussing my infidelity and betrayal with those closest to me.

32: Finding Meaning

Recently a fan of my writings told me my posts and Tweets are illiterate, shallow, and manipulative attempts at depth and meaning.

At first I was angry.

Then I realized two important facts.

31: Judgement and Acceptance

Seeing people as trees makes it easier to see them as people.

30: A Novel Idea

I want you to be happy and successful. I want you to find the Partner you deserve, need and want. If you can’t talk to me like you love me, would you try to talk about me like I’m someone you loved once and loved you?

27: Thoughts on the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

I will not pursue her or anyone else. Pursuing is clearly the mallet of my relationship communication toolbox. Now I know: my pursuing is selfish and fear-based. The behavior only adds to the problem.

25: Mixed Messages

Ruminations are the shallowest of thoughts. There is nothing insightful found in blaming, anger, and resentment. They lead to nothing but bitterness and cynicism. Power and self-respect are not found there.

20: Zero Sum Love

You are, however, not perfect. But neither is anyone else.

18: Thoughts on The Journey Back by Dolly Allen

I do not see any way home for me following the reveal of my lies and infidelity. However, what is true for me isn’t true for everyone. Don’t let angry pride make you a fool.