04: Tilting at Windmills

Infidelity is an unskillful coping mechanism. Any other story is built on the lie of wounded egos.

43: What is Infidelity?

Infidelity is a coping mechanism. Everything else is a story.

22: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Discomfort (Part 2)

Apparently, among other things, lying, cheating, and carrying secrets feels like food poisoning.

21: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Discomfort (Part 1)

When I spend resources trying to avoid the painful moment I am imagining, I will never know how to respond to the actual experience. Everything becomes a story about a fix to a broken fix to another useless hole. These responses to my discomfort only create a new narrative of pain for myself and others. I avoid living in an impermanent moment out of fear.

20: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Court

Your mistakes do not make you unworthy of legal protections.

19: A Love Letter to Betrayers – More on Anger

Here is the reality, dig down a bit, and beneath all Painter’s cuntishness is pain. I know it isn’t personal, except where I make it so.

18: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Imagining Shame

Ghost stories are not based on the realities of my actions but simply imaginings of my intentions intended to slave me to the mast of someone else’s emotional shipwreck. Letting shame go will cut you from the mast and make you the captain of your own destiny.

25: Loving Karen

The truth is I offered her far more grace than I gave myself.

17: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Self Harm

“It’s important that we don’t stereotype—pain does not discriminate and people of all ages and backgrounds can be at risk for self-harm.”

16: A Love Letter to the Betrayers – How Did I Get Here?

During Week 2 of Affair Recovery’s Hope for Healing’s seventeen week program the participants are asked to answer the question, “How did I get here?” and read it to the small group.

Below is my response.