Shorts: Petting the Cactus

06: Distancers and the Silent Treatment (Part 1)

As I recently was reminded, we sometimes have to re-experience the pattern to know we’re outgrowing it…

Lessons From a Black Friday: Year Five

I think given the opportunity to sit and have a conversation like emotionally secure functioning adults I would say the following: We were together and I love you. I will always cherish our moment together. I forgive the rest but won’t forget it either.

71: Now What?

I did what I did. Beatrix did what she did. Painter did what she did. Pretty monkeys are gonna fly. We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are ― Anaïs Nin There isn’t much to add at this point. We each have our own reasons, stories, and imaginings about the […]

69: Thinking of You

Pain is not the enemy but the light over the path to growth. Despite the chaos, I am grateful to Painter for opening the door to this life and this experience. I continue to love her from afar and want the best for her.

68: Relationship Geology

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You […]

67: Sorrow and Grief

The willingness to truly see Painter as who she is means seeing myself as I am in that pattern. And to see this truth is to live with remorse and regret, and experience sorrowful grief.

61: Relational Blackjack

I was never confused about Painter’s decision to end the relationship. Although I was hurt and sad, I was never confused. I understood.

59: Thoughts on Kindness and Toxicity

Painter is unsafe and dangerous for me because I struggle to see her for what she does. I sometimes forget how skillful — and willing — she is at getting other people to carry her water.

54: Stories of A Facebook Crush

Recently I made a statement on my Twitter thread that I had a FB crush. Like so much of what I write on Twitter, it was intended as a comma on a particular moment. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have said anything?