39: My Ugly

I’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.

The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.

37: April 22

I’m going to be in The City of Bridges next week. While in Pittsburgh every bridge will be a reminder of where I am heading next. It will serve as a reminder of where I have been and where I am going. I’m finished pursuing forgiveness, acceptance, or love, regardless of what my broken heart wants.

30: A Novel Idea

I want you to be happy and successful. I want you to find the Partner you deserve, need and want. If you can’t talk to me like you love me, would you try to talk about me like I’m someone you loved once and loved you?

27: Thoughts on the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

I will not pursue her or anyone else. Pursuing is clearly the mallet of my relationship communication toolbox. Now I know: my pursuing is selfish and fear-based. The behavior only adds to the problem.

24: Chasing Rainbows

My heart breaks over and over and over. I’m an idiot. A self-sabotaging, unforgiven fool. The cold, hard, and brutal reality is, at this point, I am chasing a rainbow.

21: Drinking from the firehose

This is the gift of infidelity: it makes you stare into the mirror and see all the truths about yourself. Some are ugly. Some are bad. Some are good. All of them are important. Unfortunately, early in the process of addressing an infidelity, getting perspective is like drinking from a firehose.

20: Zero Sum Love

You are, however, not perfect. But neither is anyone else.

11: Thoughts on How Can I Ever Trust You Again? by Dr. Randi Gunther

Originally posted on PushUP24:
Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability. The partner who has…