06: Distancers and the Silent Treatment (Part 1)

As I recently was reminded, we sometimes have to re-experience the pattern to know we’re outgrowing it…

Lessons From a Black Friday: Year Five

I think given the opportunity to sit and have a conversation like emotionally secure functioning adults I would say the following: We were together and I love you. I will always cherish our moment together. I forgive the rest but won’t forget it either.

02: Auditing My Life

Regardless of how you experience the intention and impact of infidelity, we all are manipulated by the stories, expectations, promises, ideals, traumas, and fears we bring to the experience. We are the fictional Everyman seeking to protect the imagined safety of the stories, even as the stories eat up our lives.

71: Now What?

I did what I did. Beatrix did what she did. Painter did what she did. Pretty monkeys are gonna fly. We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are ― Anaïs Nin There isn’t much to add at this point. We each have our own reasons, stories, and imaginings about the […]

69: Thinking of You

Pain is not the enemy but the light over the path to growth. Despite the chaos, I am grateful to Painter for opening the door to this life and this experience. I continue to love her from afar and want the best for her.

68: Relationship Geology

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You […]

59: Thoughts on Kindness and Toxicity

Painter is unsafe and dangerous for me because I struggle to see her for what she does. I sometimes forget how skillful — and willing — she is at getting other people to carry her water.

53: A Frank Story, Et Al

I still love Painter, and despite my best efforts–and hers–probably always will. However, breaking the pattern requires I stop pursuing the distancers in my life. As such, despite her stories I stopped pursuing Painter a long time ago. Today I pursue growth.

42: Time Moves Slow

As much as I practice suiting up and showing up there is still a melancholy that follows me like dirt off Charles Schulz’s Pigpen.

41: Intent and Impact (Part 1)

I finally had enough and recognized how idiot compassion for Painter was an obstacle to my growth and moving forward in my life.