11: Thoughts on How Can I Ever Trust You Again? by Dr. Randi Gunther

Originally posted on PushUP24:
Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability. The partner who has…

10: The Team Sport

We color both the innocuous actions and the intent of the betrayal in hyperbolic terms, covered in dashes of the conspiratory and the menacing. Every action must have hidden ill-will. Every act must be a reflection of a deeper darkness.

09: The Hot Mess Club

Stop thinking you deserve to be hurt by her. Stop seeking out the abuse and pain.

09: The Hot Mess Club

Stop thinking you deserve to be hurt by her. Stop seeking out the abuse and pain.

08: Sidebar: Language matters

The only time we care about motives is when our behaviors don’t reflect other people’s expectations. We judge the actions of others but ask to be judged for our motives.

07: No Secrets. No lies.

My selfish infidelity wasn’t simply a breaking of trust, it was the willful assault on the foundation we had built and I had submitted to honoring.

03: Labels are for things, not people

There is no honor in being a mistress for a woman where honor matters; where the Girl Code is actually a code.

01: Ducks and other quacks

The pain needs perspective, else it becomes a cycle of self-abuse and destruction. Perspective is born from time and distance. With help, time and distance provide pain meaning.

01: Ducks and other quacks

I use to believe some things were best kept private…but it is precisely the act of secret keeping that allowed my betrayal to fester so long. When the lies, secrets, and betrayal detonated on our lives twenty-eight days ago I was both sickened and relieved. The secret had been weighing down my soul and my […]