I've come to recognize through mediation, writing, friendships, and therapy, we all have a box of our own making. A box we all willing climbed in. My box was my infidelity, secret-keeping, and the escalating series of lies.
Every time I hear one person tell another some variation of, "Staying in your partnership and trying to transform the conflict means you're weak, a chump, abused, suffering from Stockholm syndrome, and your past history was just one big lie," I think, "Wow! Who's gaslighting who here?!"
Seriously?! How do you know?