13: Thoughts on Punishment and Consequences

I need to stop letting my guilt limit my choices and actions. I need to stop seeing C’s acts of jealousy, anger, and revenge as simply a consequence of my infidelity but a choice she is making about how to punish me because of her feelings of jealousy, anger, revenge, and pain.

12: Dazed and Confused

I cannot do anything about what people think they know. Anything I say will be perceived as justification, rationalizations, or an excuse or worse yet an unhealthy denial. So for the moment I am mostly just trying to wrap my head around the consequences.

And drink my hot chocolate…

11: Thoughts on How Can I Ever Trust You Again? by Dr. Randi Gunther

Originally posted on PushUP24:
Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability. The partner who has…

10: The Team Sport

We color both the innocuous actions and the intent of the betrayal in hyperbolic terms, covered in dashes of the conspiratory and the menacing. Every action must have hidden ill-will. Every act must be a reflection of a deeper darkness.

09: The Hot Mess Club

Stop thinking you deserve to be hurt by her. Stop seeking out the abuse and pain.

09: The Hot Mess Club

Stop thinking you deserve to be hurt by her. Stop seeking out the abuse and pain.

08: Sidebar: Language matters

The only time we care about motives is when our behaviors don’t reflect other people’s expectations. We judge the actions of others but ask to be judged for our motives.