32: Finding Meaning

Recently a fan of my writings told me my posts and Tweets are illiterate, shallow, and manipulative attempts at depth and meaning.

At first I was angry.

Then I realized two important facts.

31: Judgement and Acceptance

Seeing people as trees makes it easier to see them as people.

30: A Novel Idea

I want you to be happy and successful. I want you to find the Partner you deserve, need and want. If you can’t talk to me like you love me, would you try to talk about me like I’m someone you loved once and loved you?

29: Distractions

Recently, I let unqualified, biased and angry people with self-serving goals get in my head and turn the screws yesterday. I made a mistake and it bit me in the ass. I allowed myself to be distracted and ended up with other people defining me with more misguided armchair psychology. Clearly, mistakes are for other […]

28: 70 Days, 3 Lessons

Three lessons on infidelity: 1.) I’m not a victim 2.) Secrets Suck 3.) Friendship and Ghost Stories

27: Thoughts on the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

I will not pursue her or anyone else. Pursuing is clearly the mallet of my relationship communication toolbox. Now I know: my pursuing is selfish and fear-based. The behavior only adds to the problem.

26: Hiding in plain site

I have to work on separating my infidelity from my identity. Separating the act from the actors. Which sounds simple but I’ve been living with this lie for a long time and to a large extent, it has been my identity. Decisions, choices, and actions were constantly influenced by a desire to keep the secret. […]

25: Mixed Messages

Ruminations are the shallowest of thoughts. There is nothing insightful found in blaming, anger, and resentment. They lead to nothing but bitterness and cynicism. Power and self-respect are not found there.

24: Chasing Rainbows

My heart breaks over and over and over. I’m an idiot. A self-sabotaging, unforgiven fool. The cold, hard, and brutal reality is, at this point, I am chasing a rainbow.

23: Getting Perspective

This is the gift of infidelity: it makes you stare into the mirror and see all the truths about yourself. Some are ugly. Some are bad. Some are good. All of them are important.