53: A Frank Story, Et Al

I still love Painter, and despite my best efforts–and hers–probably always will. However, breaking the pattern requires I stop pursuing the distancers in my life. As such, despite her stories I stopped pursuing Painter a long time ago. Today I pursue growth.

52: Stories of Truth

The truth is I had one set of secrets and lies in my relationship with Painter. It was a meaningful lie and secret, full of fucketty and shitheadery, but it was the only one.

51: A Frank Story

Of all the friendships I lost in those chaotic first few months, the one I miss the most (besides Painter) is Et Al.

50: Stories of Blame

Painter sat at the defendants table and announced with absolute certainty, “This is all your fault.”

And I wonder, “Which part is my fault?”

48: Stories of Gratitude

As I was sitting in court yesterday listening to opening statements, listening to accusations, and answering questions, I was overcome with gratitude.

47: Stuff that Works

Grief, remorse, and regret work on a dimmer switch, not an on-off switch.

46: Stories of Safety

Nothing I do or say will create a sense of safety for people avoiding their own traumas. I cannot love someone enough to heal the wounds they are trying to avoid.

45: Pursuers and Distancers

There are moments I’m often confused and bored by the stability in my relationship with Chef. I mean, if I’m not responsible for constantly attending to her ego and entitlement while driving connection, what am I suppose to do with all my free time?

44: Sunflowers

How we got here doesn’t have to define where we go. Living that truth is all that is required to break the patterns.

43: What is Infidelity?

Infidelity is a coping mechanism. Everything else is a story.