95: The Possibilities

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energy moving forward together towards an answer.”

Denis Waitley

I needed a plumber and there were too many possibilities.

As such, not being from the Pittsburgh region, I didn’t know who to call. I know some great people in the region and started reaching out looking for the right person: someone with experience in a 260,000 square foot industrial site and wouldn’t be intimidated by a seventy-year-old building.

One of the people I texted is a local restaurant owner I’ve known for four or five years. I figured owning a restaurant she’d know a good plumber. I’ve only met R three times but we immediately bonded over the beautiful art in her restaurant, her families history with the steel mills and Unions, her wonderful food, and my love of everything Pittsburgh.

Plus, I have my charms.

I simply asked R in a short text if she could make a plumber recommendation. Within ten minutes my phone rang and a cheerful voice opened with, “Hi S!” Her first question after asking me how long I’d be in the area was about C.

In the past, I always bragged to R about C, her art, and how much I loved my life. R even met C last summer, when I took C to Pittsburgh to see my project. We had dinner at her restaurant with my clients. After R and C met, they wandered around the rooms talking about the black and white photos of R’s parents, talking about art, and Pittsburgh.

They hit it off wonderfully.

After R asked the question my heart sunk for an instant and then I vomited a response all over my desk: “C threw me out right after Thanksgiving. I slept with my ex-wife six to eight times over three years and I’ve been living out of my van for six months. I blew it.”

It came like projectile vomiting. My answer had all the rhythm of a broken heart.

Without missing a beat, she responded, “That’s terrible. I’m familiar with those kinds of things. Are you okay?” I mumbled something about being a bit of a mess. “You should have lunch with me tomorrow,” she enthusiastically interjected, “or we can meet for drinks tonight.”

I laughed then, I laugh now, thinking about the conversation. It clearly was not what I expected. It was a pleasant surprise and led to a five-minute conversation dripping with possibilities.

However, after two days of texting and talking we just couldn’t make it work. I had to opt out because of my travel schedule and commitments. I was kind of relieved.

As striking as R is, and as fun as thinking about the possibilities can be, I’m just too busy at the moment. I have more options now than I can manage. Plus, people exhaust me.

There is also the reality that I’m still emotionally churning over issues with K and C. I’ve been on some dates with a friend I’ve known for two years. My dance card just seems really full at the moment and I’m not looking to collect notches.

I told my doctor I should be over it by now and she reminded me that six months is not a long time in the face of a seven-year relationship that meant so much to me. She encouraged me to give it time. There is no rush.

I want things kept simple right now. The possibilities are fun to toss about but the reality is I’m in not really in a rush…but it’s a pleasant thought. I can use some of those right now. It’s nice to be reminded there are other possibilities.