I’ve made a lot mistakes since discovery day, 126 days ago. I may not be doing it perfectly but I’ve been doing it.
22 days.
compassion
54: A Fool’s Tale: Betrayal
Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent. The base Injustice thou hast done my Love: Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress, And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn’d; Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.
39: My Ugly
I’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.
The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.
24: Chasing Rainbows
My heart breaks over and over and over. I’m an idiot. A self-sabotaging, unforgiven fool. The cold, hard, and brutal reality is, at this point, I am chasing a rainbow.
21: Drinking from the firehose
This is the gift of infidelity: it makes you stare into the mirror and see all the truths about yourself. Some are ugly. Some are bad. Some are good. All of them are important. Unfortunately, early in the process of addressing an infidelity, getting perspective is like drinking from a firehose.