I know you hurt Pain is not wrong…The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain. Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha Good day my Friend. Depending where you are, it may not feel like a good […]Read More 03: A Love Letter to the Betrayer – I Know You Hurt
You are allowed to change relationships even if no one else understands. You are allowed to try again. You are allowed to walk away. You are not the same person you were yesterday. You are free to chose your life even if it is misunderstood.
Even if it appears to be a contradiction.Read More 02: A Love Letter to the Betrayer – Contradictions
It seems I’m compelled to write to the men and women that betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves directly.Read More 01: A Love Letter to the Betrayers
Just as “…but I love you” isn’t a get out of jail free card following betrayal, “…but you cheated” isn’t either. In both cases it is a deflection from the things that matter.Read More 36: A Bit of This and That
I wrote as a plea to be heard. By someone.
By her…but in the quiet of the night, when love and grief can no longer be shouted down I hear the repressed whispers of knowledge reminding me the woman I long to hear from will never return.Read More 29: Saudade – The Deep Longing
If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.
There are reasons for that right?Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)
I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)
Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)
There was little room to learn how to express feelings, needs, and wants in a way that is vulnerable when it is met with derision, contempt, competing interests, and sarcasm. So I don’t think I was afraid of vulnerability as much as having a definition that equated it with weakness resulting in abuse.Read More 25: Of Apples and Badassery
When I saw Esther Perel’s continuum summarizing a Relationship Accountability Spectrum, I was like, “Holy FUCK! Ghosting?! That is exactly what has happened over the last year! That is what she did! That is how I feel and behave! I’m not crazy or irrational!”Read More Thoughts on Ghosting by Esther Perel