"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It’s just poor judgment, not pathological.
There are actually very few monsters.
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It is entirely likely she looked at the totality of our relationship and decided there was nothing of value to salvage.
As such, ghosting makes perfect sense.
No wonder I’m not sleeping.
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It is entirely likely she looked at the totality of our relationship and decided there was nothing of value to salvage.
As such, ghosting makes perfect sense.
No wonder I’m not sleeping.
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I need to stop letting my guilt limit my choices and actions. I need to stop seeing C’s acts of jealousy, anger, and revenge as simply a consequence of my infidelity but a choice she is making about how to punish me because of her feelings of jealousy, anger, revenge, and pain.
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I cannot do anything about what people think they know. Anything I say will be perceived as justification, rationalizations, or an excuse or worse yet an unhealthy denial. So for the moment I am mostly just trying to wrap my head around the consequences.
And drink my hot chocolate…
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Rebuilding trust is a decision involving all the parties.
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We color both the innocuous actions and the intent of the betrayal in hyperbolic terms, covered in dashes of the conspiratory and the menacing. Every action must have hidden ill-will. Every act must be a reflection of a deeper darkness.
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Stop thinking you deserve to be hurt by her. Stop seeking out the abuse and pain.
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Stop thinking you deserve to be hurt by her. Stop seeking out the abuse and pain.
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The only time we care about motives is when our behaviors don’t reflect other people’s expectations. We judge the actions of others but ask to be judged for our motives.
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