15: Narcissists and other ghost stories

Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It’s just poor judgment, not pathological.

There are actually very few monsters. 

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13: Thoughts on Punishment and Consequences

I need to stop letting my guilt limit my choices and actions. I need to stop seeing C’s acts of jealousy, anger, and revenge as simply a consequence of my infidelity but a choice she is making about how to punish me because of her feelings of jealousy, anger, revenge, and pain. 

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12: Dazed and Confused

I cannot do anything about what people think they know. Anything I say will be perceived as justification, rationalizations, or an excuse or worse yet an unhealthy denial. So for the moment I am mostly just trying to wrap my head around the consequences. 

And drink my hot chocolate…

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10: The Team Sport

We color both the innocuous actions and the intent of the betrayal in hyperbolic terms, covered in dashes of the conspiratory and the menacing. Every action must have hidden ill-will. Every act must be a reflection of a deeper darkness.

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08: Sidebar: Language matters

The only time we care about motives is when our behaviors don’t reflect other people’s expectations. We judge the actions of others but ask to be judged for our motives. 

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