"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The meaningful question from my Good Doctor, and other good doctors, is “if you love/care for others why have you lied and kept secrets that has harmed and injured your Loves, lives, and self?”
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Here are a few of the lessons learned since that dark, unhappy, and personally blackest of Black Fridays two years ago.
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How quick we are to believe the worst about people we don’t actually know because we want to believe the best about the people we love.
Read MoreI am willing to accept far less than I offer in exchange for being loved, to be important to someone. I was willing to do the work – mine and hers – and avoided bringing my needs and wants of the Partnership. I acted as if I wasn’t as important as her.
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I acted in ways involving plenty of shitheadery but it pales in comparison to the shit our imaginations make up to keep us locked in fear in an attempt to keep us safe.
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When I saw Esther Perel’s continuum summarizing a Relationship Accountability Spectrum, I was like, “Holy FUCK! Ghosting?! That is exactly what has happened over the last year! That is what she did! That is how I feel and behave! I’m not crazy or irrational!”
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I’m left to lie to myself so that I can remain angry enough to justify not caring any longer. It requires maintaining a general apathy towards my own truth, and a casual dismissal of my heart, and therefore to my life.
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129: The 1959 Shasta Airflyte
“What does AA’s “principles before personalities” really mean? It means we practice honesty, humility, compassion, tolerance, and patience with everyone, whether we like them or not.”
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